Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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