I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
