I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
