Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
