Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
