so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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