I faked an abortion last night.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
