well most of my day revolves around power hour
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
