Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We’re leaving where are you
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