Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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