bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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