I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
