there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Im part way to drunk.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
