his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
