yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
