Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
