new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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