Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
