THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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