Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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