We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
