do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize