That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
