is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
