I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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