I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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