Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
