So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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