sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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