Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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