he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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