every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
