You were right. It hurts to walk today.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
