It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize