Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
so much tequila, so little girl.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
