Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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