so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize