Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
