let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
