How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
