how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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