just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize