Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
