Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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