I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
