Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
