Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
