I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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