Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
