I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
