My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
