remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
How external is "for external use only"?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize