they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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