absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
