What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
