We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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