We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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