if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
