I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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