why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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