Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
