Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
