I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
