that's an acceptable place to lick
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
