why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
God, I missed his penis.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
